Monday, October 17, 2011

Third Campaign Challenge: Stranded

The Challenge: 

Write a blog post in 300 words or less , excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction , non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:


  • That it’s morning
  • That a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • That the MC (main character) is bored
  • That something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • That something surprising happens.

Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec ," "wastopaneer ," and "tacise ."  (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

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Image by royal19
Sunlight spilled over the waves like liquid gold, glistening as it reached the shore. My eyes took in the scene from behind shades that darkened the sky’s rosy hue, filtering it, dulling its splendor. I’d seen too many sunrises since I’d been there.

I blew out a sigh and trailed a finger through the sand. Just how long does that man intend to keep me waiting? 

The cry of a seagull pulled me from my reverie, as it swooped down with something in its beak. Ocean water sprinkled my leg, and my nose crinkled at the fishy scent. Great. Now the stupid thing was going to feast on God-only-knew-what behind me. So much for paradise.

I stood to dust the sand from my legs, and a bead of sweat trickled down, over my collarbone.

“Täcįse.”

I straightened as familiar arms encircled my waist. “Jase,” I breathed his name on a shuddered exhale, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Šynbätęc, wäśtopanęęr,” he whispered, bending to brush his lips against my ear.

“Stop.” I squirmed against him. “You know what that island-talk does to me.”

“I know.” The warmth of his breath danced over my skin. “Is it working?”

“No,” I managed, barely suppressing a shiver. “Sorry.”

He grinned, tilting my chin back. “Are you sure about that?”

“…No.” Damn it.

His laughter was the best thing I’d heard in days—since we’d found ourselves stranded on that miserable island.

“Guess what?” he asked, his lips twitching upward.

I turned to him, cautious. “What?”

“We made contact.”

My knees buckled before I could catch myself. “W-We… what?”

“Made contact,” he said, pulling me close. “We’re going home.”

Tears stung my eyes as he crushed his mouth to mine, still tasting of tropical rapture. Maybe I was wrong.

It was a beautiful sunrise.

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Well, I started the Campaign with my first (ever) flash fiction. Here's to hoping I've improved a little. 300 words exactly. :)

If you liked it, feel free to "like" it on the Linky page. (I'm #12) I'll be making my way around to you guys' soon. I can't wait to read them! ♥

Oh, one more thing. I know this post will bury it, so don't forget to check out my weekly post: Stop Screaming. Have a great week! :)

78 comments:

Jess said...

Ooh I love it!! Great job!! Wonderful imagery, I could really picture everything going on! I'm voting for you :)

(I'm entry #5)

Lydia Kang said...

I love how you used those weird words! And I saw that beach so clearly. Great job!

Sonia Lal said...

I could feel the MC's relief at the end! Good story!

Carrie Butler said...

@Jess - Thank you. I really appreciate that! :)

@Lydia - Thanks! I'm so glad you were able to picture it. :D

@Sonia - Why thank you! :)

Sand Castles and Snow Forts said...

Nicely done! Going over to vote! Come visit me at #23!

JeffO said...

Very nice story, Carrie.

Jen said...

I love how you got the challenge words in. The imagery is so vivid, great job!
Mind is #25.

Brooke R. Busse said...

I would have to say, that yes, you improved. :)

J. A. Bennett said...

I love this!! So romantic! I could really feel the emotion :)

Lisa L. Regan said...

As always, you rock my world.

K.T. Hanna said...

This was great. I loved your usage of the challenge words. Perfect! Really great job.

kmckendry said...

I could really feel her happiness of going home. Nice romance in there too. Great entry!

David Powers King said...

Fantastic! There's a real chemistry between these two. If only your last could be just a little bit longer! Nice one! :)

Carrie Butler said...

@Sand Castles - Thank you very much! I'll be over soon. :)

@Christy - Thank you! :D

@Jeff - Thanks, Jeff! Did you catch my hockey post yesterday? I thought it might be something you could empathize with. *grins*

@Jen - Why thank you. I appreciate that! :)

@Brooke - Thanks! Having an extra hundred words to play with really helped! :)

@J.A. Bennett - Thank you so much! :D

@Lisa - Why thank you!
P.S. I should have another section for you by this evening. :D

@K.T. Hanna - Thank you very much! :D

@kmckendry- Thank you! I appreciate that! :)

Carrie Butler said...

@David - Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

Angela Cothran said...

This piece made me smile :) Beautiful descriptions! Well done.

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the description! :)

Sheri L. Swift said...

Very romantic, love the interplay of the two! Nice job! ; )

Kerrin said...

this is a wonderful piece!
Minor detail: Just be careful of some of the tenses you use. Two words: that and there - as you are using I and talking in present tense, they should have been this and here. I always get these wrong too, easily done!
But it is a lovely piece and i really got the feeling or boredom and joy!
Awesome

Carrie Butler said...

@Angela - Thank you! :)

@Eagle - Thanks a lot, Eagle! :)

@Sheri - Thank you for the kind words! :D

@Kerrin - Thanks! Hmm, I guess didn't give it much thought last night. (I was concentrating on all of those silly rules!) Duly noted. :)

Bonnie Rae said...

Oh I loved it! I am really enjoying how everyone incorporated the words, I left them out =(

This was great!

treelight said...

Island talk! What a great idea!

yikici said...

This was adorable! I loved the inventive use of the words 'island-talk' -very clever, now why did I not think of that! lol. Your writing just flows off the page and the chemistry between the two is spot on. A great contender. :)

J.R. Williams said...

Your use of “Šynbätęc, wäśtopanęęr,” was great!

Mel Fowler said...

I liked the use of island language. Great story!

Melodie said...

You've got my vote - I LOVE stranded-on-an-island-with-hunky-guy stories.

Tiburon said...

I thought it was very clever that you used the random words as a different language! Very good story.

elizabethanne said...

I enjoyed that very much! Well done.

Carrie Butler said...

@Bonnie - I don't blame you. Those were some crazy words! Thank you! :)

@Treelight - Why thank you! :)

@Yikici - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words! :D

@J.R. Williams - Thanks! :D

@Mel - Thank you! :)

@Melodie - Thank you very much! (Yeah, to be honest, I didn't feel too bad for the MC... *grins*)

@Tiburon - Thanks! :D

@elizabethanne - Thank you! :)

Patricia T. said...

Great story -- unexpected ending. You have my vote.

AveryMarsh said...

There were so many great things about your entry. I love your description of the morning, the clever use of those random words, the chemistry between them, and the ending was refreshingly uplifting. Well done.

Linda said...

Great job! I liked it :)

MISH said...

Thumbs-up to "island-talk" - it definitely increased the chemistry between the two, heated things up a little...
I really liked this! A simple, yet effective piece!
It reminded me of the saying: "Less is more".
(I'm no.#47)
I'm your newest follower, btw.

Carrie Butler said...

@Patricia - Thank you! I appreciate that. :)

@AveryMarsh - Oh, thank you so much! That was really nice of you. :D

@Linda - Thanks, Linda! :)

@Mish - Why thank you! I'll be right over to check out yours. :)

Laila Knight said...

That was fantastic. And I loved the island-talk. LOL. Those two don't realize what they have. They should stay on the island. Not only are they assured of exclusive love, they don't have to pay taxes or answer to anybody. You write a hot romance, Carrie. :)

bridgetstraub.com said...

That was a sweet ending. I enjoyed it. Mine is #56

LadyJai said...

That was beautiful. Happy ending to boot! :D

S P Mount said...

Lol, you could see these two at each other's throats if they hadn't made contact. As did everyone, I enjoyed your inventive use of the nonsensical words and I think you had an effective use of exposition and technique in relaying this love/hate story. My only constructive comment would be the positioning of a couple of commas, but I find this a very common bone of contention among many writers, so maybe its just me. Very well done and thank you for finding mine.

Jessica Therrien said...

I LOVED that first sentence...beautiful. Plus you rocked the crazy words. High five.

Fairview said...

loved jase and the island talk!

Peggy Eddleman said...

Ooo! I loved it! Way to make the special words all steamy!

Maeve Frazier said...

This is your first flash fiction??? Loved it! Nice job!

Alyssa said...

This was really good! Great imagery :) I'm #69

Joylene said...

Absolutely excellent. I'm trying to be original. LOL. This was great. Thanks, Carrie.

Dawn M. Hamsher said...

The "talk dirty to me" part was hilarious with those words! Really great range of emotions in a short piece! Very nice job.

Mine is #7.

Candy Fite said...

I agree! I love the use of the challenge words. Too funny!

Brinda said...

You did a really good job on this. I liked how you used the made-up words!

Lady Gwen said...

Great job using the made up words - nice job on the challenge! I'm #65.

cleemckenzie said...

Loved the "island talk." Great way to fit those words into your entry. Congratulations on a great job.

Carrie Butler said...

@Laila - Hah! I never thought of it that way. Only you, only you... *grins* Thank you!

@Bridget - Thank you! I'll be along to check it out soon!

@LadyJai - Thank you very much!

@S P Mount - Oh, you know it. ;) Thank you very much!

@Jessica - Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it!

@Fairview - Thank you!

@Pegasus - Why thank you!

@Maeve - The first Campaign Challenge was my first flash fiction, but I'm still trying to get the hang of it. Thank you!

@Alyssa - Thank you!

@Joylene - *grins* Thank you so much! :D

@Dawn - I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks!

@Candy - Thank you! :)

@Brinda - Thank you so much!

@Lady Gwen - Thank you! I'm hoping to make rounds this weekend. I can't wait to read it!

@cleemckenzie - Thank you very much!

Joanna said...

Beautiful description and strong voice. Lovely ending. Great work!

Stacy S. Jensen said...

Loved your story. I'm helping judge this round and advanced your story onto the next round of judging. Good luck.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Awesome. Those words! Really. You did great.

mooderino said...

Good job, nicely done.

mood (new follower)
Moody Writing
@mooderino

Carrie Butler said...

@Joanna - Thank you! :)

@Stacy - Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! :D

@Donna - Thanks! I hope all is well!

@Mooderino - Thank you! I'll be sure to follow you back.

Michelle Merrill said...

Good job! I like your descriptions. New follower here :) Nice to meet you.

Carrie Butler said...

@Michelle - Thank you! I'll be over to visit your blog soon. It's nice to meet you, too! :)

Isis Rushdan said...

Great predicament. Really enjoyed the imagery. You definitely pulled me into the MC's head.

Carrie Butler said...

@Isis - Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that. :)

L.A Speedwing said...

Good job!! And your first flash fiction even! Impressive.

Carrie Butler said...

@L.A. Speedwing - The first Campaign Challenge was my first flash fiction, but I'm still trying to get the hang of it. Thank you!

L.A Speedwing said...

Hey still, that still counts! ;-) And by the way, thanks for visiting me.

Carrie Butler said...

@L.A. Speedwing - Thanks! Oh, you're welcome. I'm following now. :D

Damyanti said...

cool imagery, and the ending has impact.

Carrie Butler said...

@Damyanti - Thank you! :)

Jes said...

Hmm-hmm, those darn island-talking men will get you every time. lol. This peice was a lot of fun, nicely done!

Holly Vance said...

I love what you did with the challenge words.

Carrie Butler said...

@Jes - *grins* You know it! Thank you! :)

@Holly - Thank you! :D

Sally said...

Catching up to your blog now :S
Your writing is as good as ever! I love your descriptions so very much- that first paragraph especially was so perfect :D

Carrie Butler said...

@Sally - Aww, thank you! That made my day, Sally. :)

Jen said...

Great job!! I get the pleasure of judging this round, and you're moving onto Round 2!

Carrie Butler said...

@Jen - Oh, thank you so much! :) I really appreciate that. *hugs*

Cortney said...

Carrie, nice work here! I definitely want to know more! Great imagery, nice writing and showing, and good use of the made-up words!! I'm also excited to let you know I'm one of the judges for this round, and I've selected you to move on to the finals! You'll be winning a prize (though I'm not sure what *wink wink*). Congrats!

Carrie Butler said...

@Cortney - Thank you! :) Seriously? Wow! Thank you so much! I really, really appreciate it! *hugs*

Rachael Harrie said...

Hi Carrie, congratulations on making it to the final 12! I've now judged the entries, and you've come Sixth! I loved your imagery, and the way you conveyed the emotions of your MC! Well done you!!!

Don't forget to pop by Rach Writes... to see what you've won!

Hugs,

Rach

Carrie Butler said...

@Rachael Harrie - Oh, Rach! That's so exciting. :) Thank you so much! I really, really appreciate it. I'll be right over! *hugs*

cleemckenzie said...

YOU WON! That's super. Loved your story, so I'm really happy for you.

Carrie Butler said...

@cleemckenzie - Thank you so much! I had never entered a writing "contest" before this Campaign, so I was really excited! :)