Let's talk about screaming. See, a couple years ago, I was at a hockey game...
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| No credits this time. I took this one. ;) |
That said, I hate ignorant screaming. At this particular game, I was sitting near the most ignorant of screamers. This is how it went down. I kid you not. There was this half-drunk woman behind us—we'll call her Tracy—hitting on a couple of Canadian guys. They didn't know each other. You know what? To make it easier, I'll tell it in story form. Ahem!
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Tracy nurses her beer, peering down at the ice. "What are they doooing? Did we score yet?"
The two men to her left share a glance before the closest one leans over. "They're warming up."
"Oh." She frowns, scanning the arena. "Whoa. Who's that hottie? Does he play for us?"
"Number sixty-one?" he asks with an incredulous stare. "That's your captain. Rick Nash."
Her pupils dilate, and she leans forward with renewed interest. "Nash, huh?"
<Skip ahead to the middle of the first period>
"Woo, Nash! That's my man!" Tracy shrieks, cupping her hands to her face. She stands up, wiggling her bottom. "Nash! Hey, Nash! Marry me! I love you!"
The guys snicker, watching the display.
"Try calling him Rick," the closest one suggests. "Maybe he'll turn around."
"Ricky, baby, turn around! I love you!" When he doesn't respond, she flops back down, and beer sloshes over the edge of her glass. "Hey, when's halftime?"
<Skip ahead to the middle of the second period>
Tracy is leaning over her seat, infatuated. "Ohmygawd. Wait. You guys are really Canadian? Do you, like, play hockey? Everyone plays hockey there, don't they?"
"A bit in school," the farthest man answers. "Not for a while."
"Can you say 'eh' for me? Do you..." she trails off, her attention caught by something on the ice. "Oh, it's my man! MY MAN! NASH! NASH!"
About this time, a slightly perturbed writer interupts. "That's not Nash," she says. "That's fifty-one. Fedor Tyutin. Nash is sixty-one."
"Oh." Tracy sinks down in her seat, disappointed. "WHY WON'T THEY LET NASH PLAY?!"
Everyone in the section groans.
Everyone in the section groans.
<Skip ahead to the third period>
"How do they skate that fast while dribbling the little ball-thing?" Tracy asks, squinting her eyes in concentration. "I couldn't do it."
"Let me kill her," the writer begs her sister. "I'll be quick about it. I promise."
Her sister shakes her head.
"Hey, your boy's out there." One of the men points to the ice, a shit-eating grin on his face.
Tracy's up in a flash, waving and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Nash! Nash!"
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The point(s) of this story? - Stop screaming, Twitter-spammers. We hear you. You have a book, and you want us to buy it. We don't need to be reminded seven times a day. If you're not careful, you'll end up a Tracy, and nobody likes a Tracy.
(I'm just kidding, people-named-Tracy. I still ♥ you.) - Please know what you're talking about, before you start yelling about it. Common sense.
- Don't ruin hockey games for
methe writer. She gets cranky. ;)
Announcements:
- Last week for Casting Call sign-ups! It starts October 24th, so please plan to join us. (Or should I leave the Linky open during the week of Casting Call?) Oh, and If you can't seem to pin down your characters, you can always share inspiration or location photos. The guidelines are pretty flexible. :)
- Thank you to Iain and Jessica for the awards! I really appreciate it. :)
- I've finally got my second blog up and running. There. I'm not just "blogging about writing," anymore. *grins* (See: Getting Personal w/ Carrie)
Have a great week, guys! :)
21 comments:
Awesome story! I have a similar one when I went to see Harry Potter. (And I'm an expert on Harry Potter, just FYI) and the girl behind me was giving little tidbits to the guy with her...and they were so wrong, but that was the least annoying part of the whole thing. She was calling Hermione her-me-own. :)
Can I just say, I miss hockey and Tim Hortons. Ah, to be in Canada again. Not to say I miss the snow...but the memories.
HILARIOUS. Hah hah hah. Nobody likes a Tracy. So true. Heh heh heh. I hate fans like that. I am guilty of having a Chase Utley bobblehead on my nightstand but I would never stand up at Citizens Bank Park and ask him to marry me. Although that fake to third, throw the player out at home play in the World Series in 2008 was pretty hot. :) That is just obnoxious. Why would you go to a game and scream when you have no idea what you're talking about? UGH. Anyway, great post. Love it.
I love it. I can't stand people like Tracy...just want to yell to shut the hell up. You were the writer, right? Anyway, Twitter spammer, I just ment them. They really suck. :)
Some people are better off without certain things. For example:
- Ignorant people who know nothing about a sporting event they are attending should avoid anything that smells like liquid courage
- Ignorant people who Tweet without regards to their impact should quite possibly have there cute little wings clipped.
Enthusiasm is one thing. Socre for that :-) But ignorance and obnoxiousness just...NO.
A - friggin - men! I love hockey. NY Rangers! WOOT! And I despise going to games and seeing these "fans". I also can't stand the authors who do nothing on Twitter but post spam about their books. NOT cool.
LOL. Don't get writers cranky in general. ;)
Oh, we can share other types of photos? I'll have to think about how I'm going to write my post some more . . .
@Cassie - Thank you! Oh no. Did you strangle her? This isn't a confession, is it? *grins*
@Clarissa - I've never been to Canada, but it sounds fun! :)
@Lisa - Thanks! Oh, I know! We're both pretty into our respective sports fandoms, but we're not... "those girls". *Shudders*
@Laila - You bet! We're lucky that's all I said. ;) Maybe they would've thrown me in the penalty box...
(Okay, they would've thrown me out, but still!)
@Angela - Hah! I almost spit out my drink when you said they should have their cute, little wings clipped. That's perfect! :D
@Tina - Nice! Oh, yeah. Don't you hate it? They make other female fans look bad. We're not all puck bunnies, thank you!
P.S. We might have to take a friendship break on February 19, 2012. (Jackets v. Rangers) ;)
@Eagle - Too true! ;)
Absolutely. It's mainly for characters, but I don't want to exclude those struggling to come up with images to match their "vision". I know how hard things like that can be. :)
Oh, hockey. :) I've only ever been to one hockey game, and that was enough for me. I might like it someday - somehow I was able to learn to like soccer, and let me tell you, that's a miracle. :) I love basketball though.
Oh, I hear ya, eh? We are hockey crazed up here *wild eyes* altho we don't have any NHL teams in Alaska. Sigh. Yet another reason to be jealous of Carrie... :)
*Snort* Traceys the world over will be after you now. What have you started?
P.S. I can't seem to find the linky list on your "Casting Call" post. The page doesn't finish loading and just locks up my browser. I'll have another look later.
@Bethany - Aww, really? You should give it another try sometime. ;) (I can't say anything, though, because I've never enjoyed basketball... *ducks*)
@Melodie - You know, I'm pretty surprised you guys don't. Maybe you should've bought the Thrashers-turned-Jets instead of Winnipeg. They had their turn! ;)
@Botanist - Eek! I better go into hiding...
I left a comment on your blog about Casting Call, in case you don't check back here. :)
Wait. What? I have to know what I'm talking about? Dang!
No, really. I TOTALLY know where you're coming from. I swear I will try not to be a Tracy. At least I won't ever drink. That fixes a lot on it's own, right?
@Pegasus - *Grins* I know, right? I'm such a killjoy. Hah! Yes, eliminating alcohol from the situation helps would-be Tracy types. ;)
Great story :o)
I'm with you on the noise. It builds atmosphere. The mindless squealing Tracey's shold be outlawed.
@Iain - Thank you! Definitely. They should have signs at the door. ;)
Thumbs up! For taking hockey and using it to make a point!
@Tiburon - Thank you! :)
I'm so glad you told this in story form. I needed a good laugh! All I can say is...wow. Sometime the entertainment is not where it is expected.
@Dawn - Hah! That is a great way to put it! :) Welcome!
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