SECOND CAMPAIGN CHALLENGE:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction ( ✔), non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post. ✔
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY! ✔
The city wears a halo of miasma at night—a noxious fog, thick
with bitterness and regret. It slips inside as we oscitate, unearthing memories
that play out in our minds as inexorable, silent films while we sleep. We’re
possessed by the past, and praying for nightmares.
This is the world he left me in. A world where I’m alone.
I stumble past the mirror we got for our fifth anniversary, and
my reflection stares me down from a thousand, jagged angles. Thin lines of
crimson slip through my fingers.
He was here this morning, and tonight he is gone. Forever. All
that remains is the lacuna in my chest—a dull ache where my heart used to be,
because he took it with him.
He didn’t belong in a place like this. He was too noble, too
brave. He fought for what he believed in, and I know, given the choice, he’d do
it all over again. That was the kind of man he was.
The sky opens up as fresh tears burn my eyes, and the synchronicity
is almost beautiful. How fitting that we should grieve together, a widow and her
husband’s final battleground. I can’t take this.
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GLOSSARY:
imago— n
an idealized mental image of another person or the self
an idealized mental image of another person or the self
miasma— n
an influence or atmosphere that tends to deplete or corrupt
an influence or atmosphere that tends to deplete or corrupt
lacuna — n
a gap or missing part
a gap or missing part
oscitate— v
to gape; to yawn
to gape; to yawn
synchronicity — n
an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated
an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated
Definitions from Merriam Webster and Dictionary.com
There you have it! My second flash fiction, told in 1st/present. I know it was depressing, but I hope you liked it anyway. I can't wait to read the rest of yours! ♥
Oh, and don't forget to vote, if you liked it! :)
...If you didn't, well, don't forget to vote for an entry you did like. *grins*
[Update] Hah! Sorry to everyone who had to see a typo. I wrote this beast at 4:30 AM, and I'm lucky there weren't more! ;)
P.S. If you're following me, and I'm not following you, please send me a link to your blog. Blogger seems to be acting up again. Thanks! :)
88 comments:
Wow, Carrie, that was just beautiful!
What a sad story! I love the imagery. Thanks for sharing.
"my reflection stares me down from a thousand, jagged angles."
Love it.
Wow, that was amazing. I could never top that. Well done! Very mournful and poignant!
"We’re possessed by the past, and praying for nightmares."
I think this part tells so much with so little words. Nice job. :)
That was beautiful, Carrie! :)
Dear me, that piece fired up my tear ducts, thick with the main characters despair and emotion. A very wonderful job.
@Jen - Thank you so much! :)
@Clarissa - Thank you! :D
@Jeff - I'm glad to hear it. Thank you! :)
@Lisa - Hah! You could top that with one hand tied behind your back and the other glued to the five keys of your choice. Thanks, though! *grins*
@Joylene - Thank you so much! :D
@Alynza - Aww, well, thank you! :)
@J - Thanks! :D
@Angela - Oh, thank you so much! I really appreciate that. :)
This is a lovely piece, if a little sad. Beautiful though. Love your usage of the words!
Beautifully written. ~ Nadja
Oh that flows very nicely. Mind if I snag your glossary idea? It's mighty useful, as some of the words have multiple meanings.
I'm not at all surprised by how awesome your entry is. Masterful use of such random words! Love it! :)
Wow I am impressed! This challenge has my head spinning a bit, much like when I try to help my daughter with her Italian homework. I don't think I quite get it, but yours is lovely.
OMG, somebody get me a hanky. That was just beautiful and so sad. Amazing work. I'd never use any of those words in vocabulary. Heck, if I stumbled upon them in a novel, I'd probably have to pull out the dictionary. Excellent work! :)
So sand and yet so beautiful. ; )
I loved how you said that the MC and the battlefield grieved together.
The beginning is just slightly confusing because you're talking about we and then you say she's alone. I just thought I might point that out in case you ever want to revise or lengthen it.
Oh yeah, that's sad:( I felt it all! Nice job:) I'm #34. I can't find your follower button:(
Wow, beautiful and moving! Great job, Carrie!
Btw, you won a copy of CREEP from my post the other day! Email me at jennifer@jenniferhillier.ca :)
Such a mood setter :) I like it. And MAJOR congrats for winning Creep. It looks so good
Beautiful piece! :)
Wow, that was awesome! And I'm glad you supplied those definitions cuz I didn't know what most of those words meant.
And congrats on winning Creep. I won a copy, too, and I LOVED it!!
Beautiful and sad! Awesome story.
That was beautifully emotional. I love how you used the picture too. Great job! :)
Beautiful imagery. What a heartbreaking tale!
So moving and well-written. Despite the sad tone I loved it.
That was beautiful, Carrie. There in the morning and gone that night. Death can be just like that.
Sad and Beautiful. I really like it. ;)
@Everyone - Thanks for all of the support, guys! I can't wait to make it to all of your entries! :D
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@K.T. - Thank you! :)
@Nadja - Thank you so much!
@Christine - Go for it! That was my reasoning, too. Thanks for stopping by! :)
@David - Aww, David! Thank you! :D
@Bridget - Oh my goodness. I've never had Italian homework, but if it's anything like this challenge, it must be tough! *grins* Thank you!
@Laila - Hey, lady! Thank you for the kind words. You know I appreciate the encouragement. :) Oh, and if I hadn't pulled out the dictionary, there wouldn't have been an entry from me! *grins*
@Sheri - Thanks, Sheri!
@Kurt - Why thank you! :)
@Brooke - Thank you! Ah, I think I was going for a collective "we," as in the city. (Then again, I wrote it at 4:30 AM, so I'm not entirely sure... *grins*)
@Gwen - Oh, I'm so glad to hear it. Thanks! Hmm, Blogger might be acting up. There should be a GFC button on the left sidebar. (Also, RSS and e-mail.) Have you tried the top Blogger bar thingie?
@Jennifer - Thank you so much! I'm so excited! :) I e-mailed you.
@Kelley - Thank you! :D Oh, I know. I can't wait to read it!
@Eagle - Thanks, Eagle! :)
@Nancy - I didn't either! Well, aside from miasma. *grins* Thank you very much! I can't wait to read it! :)
@Sonia - Thanks! :D
@Christine R. - Aww, thank you! :)
@Kathleen - Why thank you! :D
@F.E. Sewell - Thank you so much! :)
@Donna - Thank you for the kind words, Donna! I appreciate it. :)
@Heather - Thank you! :)!
This is a beautiful, powerful piece. A job well done. :)
That was beautiful Carrie. Sad, yes, but also beautiful. Wonderful use of the required words.
Fabulous! Eerie and dark, yet provoking. I love your imagery and the thick, rich word choices! I'm voting for you! And I'm also following you. ;)
Carrie,
I am so GLAD I waited until today to stop by and visit you. This is ONE AMAZING piece of Flash Fiction.
The emotion you evoked in such a short piece is monumental. Congratulations. I am awed.
Michael
Beautifully emotional. I liked your use of that definition of Imago, I've only read a couple of others that did. Nice work.
Such an intesely emotional journey! You did very well. I'm following you now. : )
FABULOUS! All those constraints, and it still turned out beautiful! Color me impressed. And depressed. Geez, thanks a lot! No, really. It was way more beautiful than depressing.
*applauds* Beautifully done, and with so many specifics included!
Depressing? Yes, very xD But lovely. And fantastic imagery!
Have I told you how much I love your writing? Because I freaking love your writing :D
Great use of your challenge words! Don't know if I could have done this...
Going to vote now. :)
Wow, Carrie. Stunning!
That first sentence was incredible! Talk about painting a picture.
GREAT JOB!
@Medeia - Thank you very much! :D
@Jennifer - Thanks! :)
@Ann - Thank you, Ann. I appreciate that. :)
@Cortney - Why thank you! That's so kind of you to say. I'm following you, too! :)
@Michael - Thank you so much! I'm really glad you got a chance to stop by. Welcome! :)
@Cheryl - Thank you very much! :D
@Zan Marie - Thank you! I'm following you, too! :)
@Pegasus - Thank you! I'll try to avoid depressing you in the future. (No promises.) *grins*
@Sally - Aww, Sally! I forgot that it'd been a while since you last saw my writing. Thank you so much! :)
@Lydia - Thank you! I really appreciate that. (And hah! Of course you could've, Ms. Represented Author! *Squeal*)
@Bryce - Thank you very much! It's nice to see you 'round these parts again. We've missed you! :)
Carrie! Look at us, taking flash fiction by the horns!
Seriously though, amazing job. The flow in this piece is such a perfect downward spiral. Gave me the shivers.
P.S.
Major kudos for using my favorite word so eloquently.
P.P.S.
Sorry about the wings.
@Leah - Heck yes! This Campaign is working us out of our comfort zones. :) Why thank you! I admit, you made wings sound pretty cool... *grins*
Beautifully written and full of emotion. I'm looking forward to reading future posts.
Hauntingly beautiful! I loved it.
Brilliant. How come you gotta be so good at this? The bar is too high.
That was beautiful and so very sad...I really enjoy your writing style!
what a somber piece, i felt the sense of loss.
well done!
Very emotional and well written. I love how you used all the required words in your story. I'm voting for you :-)
It's very well written, but a sad one though.
Every one of these entries is super. I may as well roll over and play dead. I'm already in a miasmic fit. Is misamic a word? I don't think so.
Strong imagery and emotion. But so sad. beautifully written.
@MC - Thank you, and welcome! :)
@Carrie - I get so confused every time it tells me "Carrie" has commented. Hah! Thank you! :D
@CLeeMcKenzie - Why thank you! This is only my second flash fiction, so I'm afraid it's not exactly my forte, but thank you for the kind words! :)
@Doreen - Thank you so much! :)
@Tara - Thank you! :D
@Angela - Aww, thank you very much. I appreciate that! :)
@Myne - Thank you, Myne! :D
@CLeeMcKenzie - Aww, c'mon. You're a very talented woman. You have to give it a try. (Besides, you've already used miasmic--which is a word--twice in this comment. It's like you've already started! *grins*)
@Joanna - Thank you! :)
Hello, nice to meet you! I love your entry! It's very well written and very sad. Great job! I'm a new follower, by the way!
(I'm entry #113)
@Jess - Thank you, and welcome! :) I'm off to read yours now. :D
You know you're an amazing writer when you can do so much with so few words. You've got it! This is the best challenge I've read. Love it, love it, love it!!!
Mine is 119.
My favorite so far...great entry. I really loved it. Great job. I'll be voting for you :)
@Sarah - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the encouraging words. :D! I'm off to read yours now!
@Jessica - Thank you! I appreciate that. I'm reading yours right now, and I love it!
Excellent! I love the imagery and emotion. Seamless use of those tricky words!
Well, it was as beautiful as it was sad. I loved it in spite of the great loss that jumped off the page and into my heart. No one will cry for mine, number 52. Since you mentioned it, I don't think you're following me yet. I'm still trying to reach 100 and have a chocolate contest for followers. http://sherahart.blogspot.com
Great entry! I love the approach you took.
Great job! I think my favorite part was "lacuna in my closet." Awesome imagery.
@Raelyn - Thank you so much! :)
@Sher - Thank you, Sher! I really appreciate the kind words. I'm following you now. I had a feeling Blogger was letting me down somewhere. *grins* Thanks for letting me know!
@Cherie - Why thank you! :D
@Francesca - Your name is so fun to say! I love it! Thanks for commenting. :)
Wow! Beautiful!
@Tyrean - Thank you! :)
Absolutely perfect. You found an aesthetic that fit the words well. I'm voting for you! I'm #146, btw.
Good imagery, although a sad piece.
Works well! Good read....
@Barbara - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the votes! :D
@Maria - Thank you! :)
@neelthemuse - Thanks so much! :D
How sad, and yet beautiful at the same time! Nice job with the emotions!
Just echoing the sentiments of previous posters. It's an amazingly evocative, beautifully written piece.
@Carla - Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. :D
@Avery - Why thank you! I appreciate that. :)
Wow! This was intense and I loved it. Great job.
Excellent presentation and story.
I loved it! Very moving and great use of the words.
I'm down at #183.
Very emotional, and good use of the words. Fun learning the new words, huh? You have a great voice.
@Mina - Thanks, Mina! :)
@Magnolia - Thank you! :D
@KMcKendry - Thank you! I'll be over to read yours soon!
@KSCollier - Thank you! You know, it was pretty fun. It's always nice to learn something new. :)
Loved the short story--full of rich imagery!
I'm 189 if you'd like to take a look. :)
@Karen - Thank you so much! I'll be right over. :)
Blog awards for you!!! http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-love.html
Very vivid imagery that really pluck at the emotions.
@Jessica - Thank you very much! :)
@Jocelyn - Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
I love it. So sorrowful and you used those words so organically.
@Holly - Thank you! I appreciate that! :)
Wonderful, really touching. Very different from any of the other posts I've read!
jessica aspen #174
@Jessica - Thank you so much! :)
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