Thursday, September 22, 2011

Imago of a Lost Love


SECOND CAMPAIGN CHALLENGE:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction ( ), non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
  • Include the word "imago" in the title
  • Include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," and "synchronicity"
  • If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
  • For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!
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ENTRY: 

The city wears a halo of miasma at night—a noxious fog, thick with bitterness and regret. It slips inside as we oscitate, unearthing memories that play out in our minds as inexorable, silent films while we sleep. We’re possessed by the past, and praying for nightmares.


This is the world he left me in. A world where I’m alone.


I stumble past the mirror we got for our fifth anniversary, and my reflection stares me down from a thousand, jagged angles. Thin lines of crimson slip through my fingers.


He was here this morning, and tonight he is gone. Forever. All that remains is the lacuna in my chest—a dull ache where my heart used to be, because he took it with him. 


He didn’t belong in a place like this. He was too noble, too brave. He fought for what he believed in, and I know, given the choice, he’d do it all over again. That was the kind of man he was.


The sky opens up as fresh tears burn my eyes, and the synchronicity is almost beautiful. How fitting that we should grieve together, a widow and her husband’s final battleground. I can’t take this.
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GLOSSARY:
imagon
an idealized mental image of another person or the self

miasman
an influence or atmosphere that tends to deplete or corrupt

lacuna n
a gap or missing part

oscitatev
to gape; to yawn

synchronicity n
an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated
Definitions from Merriam Webster and Dictionary.com 
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There you have it! My second flash fiction, told in 1st/present. I know it was depressing, but I hope you liked it anyway. I can't wait to read the rest of yours! 

Oh, and don't forget to vote, if you liked it! :) 
...If you didn't, well, don't forget to vote for an entry you did like. *grins*


[Update] Hah! Sorry to everyone who had to see a typo. I wrote this beast at 4:30 AM, and I'm lucky there weren't more! ;)

P.S. If you're following me, and I'm not following you, please send me a link to your blog. Blogger seems to be acting up again. Thanks! :)










 

90 comments:

Jen said...

Wow, Carrie, that was just beautiful!

Clarissa Draper said...

What a sad story! I love the imagery. Thanks for sharing.

JeffO said...

"my reflection stares me down from a thousand, jagged angles."

Love it.

Lisa L. Regan said...

Wow, that was amazing. I could never top that. Well done! Very mournful and poignant!

joylene said...

Nicely done, Carrie. Beautifully written. I want to read more.

Alynza Smith said...

"We’re possessed by the past, and praying for nightmares."

I think this part tells so much with so little words. Nice job. :)

J said...

That was beautiful, Carrie! :)

Angela Brown said...

Dear me, that piece fired up my tear ducts, thick with the main characters despair and emotion. A very wonderful job.

Carrie Butler said...

@Jen - Thank you so much! :)

@Clarissa - Thank you! :D

@Jeff - I'm glad to hear it. Thank you! :)

@Lisa - Hah! You could top that with one hand tied behind your back and the other glued to the five keys of your choice. Thanks, though! *grins*

@Joylene - Thank you so much! :D

@Alynza - Aww, well, thank you! :)

@J - Thanks! :D

Carrie Butler said...

@Angela - Oh, thank you so much! I really appreciate that. :)

K.T. Hanna said...

This is a lovely piece, if a little sad. Beautiful though. Love your usage of the words!

Nadja Notariani said...

Beautifully written. ~ Nadja

Christine Tyler said...

Oh that flows very nicely. Mind if I snag your glossary idea? It's mighty useful, as some of the words have multiple meanings.

David Powers King said...

I'm not at all surprised by how awesome your entry is. Masterful use of such random words! Love it! :)

bridgetstraub.com said...

Wow I am impressed! This challenge has my head spinning a bit, much like when I try to help my daughter with her Italian homework. I don't think I quite get it, but yours is lovely.

Laila Knight said...

OMG, somebody get me a hanky. That was just beautiful and so sad. Amazing work. I'd never use any of those words in vocabulary. Heck, if I stumbled upon them in a novel, I'd probably have to pull out the dictionary. Excellent work! :)

Sheri L. Swift said...

So sand and yet so beautiful. ; )

Brooke R. Busse said...

I loved how you said that the MC and the battlefield grieved together.

The beginning is just slightly confusing because you're talking about we and then you say she's alone. I just thought I might point that out in case you ever want to revise or lengthen it.

Lady Gwen said...

Oh yeah, that's sad:( I felt it all! Nice job:) I'm #34. I can't find your follower button:(

Jennifer Hillier said...

Wow, beautiful and moving! Great job, Carrie!

Btw, you won a copy of CREEP from my post the other day! Email me at jennifer@jenniferhillier.ca :)

Kelley said...

Such a mood setter :) I like it. And MAJOR congrats for winning Creep. It looks so good

The Golden Eagle said...

Beautiful piece! :)

Nancy Thompson said...

Wow, that was awesome! And I'm glad you supplied those definitions cuz I didn't know what most of those words meant.

And congrats on winning Creep. I won a copy, too, and I LOVED it!!

Sonia Lal said...

Beautiful and sad! Awesome story.

Christine Rains said...

That was beautifully emotional. I love how you used the picture too. Great job! :)

Kathleen said...

Beautiful imagery. What a heartbreaking tale!

F.E. Sewell said...

So moving and well-written. Despite the sad tone I loved it.

Donna K. Weaver said...

That was beautiful, Carrie. There in the morning and gone that night. Death can be just like that.

Heather said...

Sad and Beautiful. I really like it. ;)

Carrie Butler said...

@Everyone - Thanks for all of the support, guys! I can't wait to make it to all of your entries! :D

-----------------------------------------------

@K.T. - Thank you! :)

@Nadja - Thank you so much!

@Christine - Go for it! That was my reasoning, too. Thanks for stopping by! :)

@David - Aww, David! Thank you! :D

@Bridget - Oh my goodness. I've never had Italian homework, but if it's anything like this challenge, it must be tough! *grins* Thank you!

@Laila - Hey, lady! Thank you for the kind words. You know I appreciate the encouragement. :) Oh, and if I hadn't pulled out the dictionary, there wouldn't have been an entry from me! *grins*

@Sheri - Thanks, Sheri!

@Kurt - Why thank you! :)

@Brooke - Thank you! Ah, I think I was going for a collective "we," as in the city. (Then again, I wrote it at 4:30 AM, so I'm not entirely sure... *grins*)

@Gwen - Oh, I'm so glad to hear it. Thanks! Hmm, Blogger might be acting up. There should be a GFC button on the left sidebar. (Also, RSS and e-mail.) Have you tried the top Blogger bar thingie?

@Jennifer - Thank you so much! I'm so excited! :) I e-mailed you.

@Kelley - Thank you! :D Oh, I know. I can't wait to read it!

@Eagle - Thanks, Eagle! :)

@Nancy - I didn't either! Well, aside from miasma. *grins* Thank you very much! I can't wait to read it! :)

@Sonia - Thanks! :D

@Christine R. - Aww, thank you! :)

@Kathleen - Why thank you! :D

@F.E. Sewell - Thank you so much! :)

@Donna - Thank you for the kind words, Donna! I appreciate it. :)

Carrie Butler said...

@Heather - Thank you! :)!

Medeia Sharif said...

This is a beautiful, powerful piece. A job well done. :)

Jennifer Groepl said...

Haunting piece. Well done!

Ann said...

That was beautiful Carrie. Sad, yes, but also beautiful. Wonderful use of the required words.

Cortney said...

Fabulous! Eerie and dark, yet provoking. I love your imagery and the thick, rich word choices! I'm voting for you! And I'm also following you. ;)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Carrie,

I am so GLAD I waited until today to stop by and visit you. This is ONE AMAZING piece of Flash Fiction.

The emotion you evoked in such a short piece is monumental. Congratulations. I am awed.

Michael

Cheryl said...

Beautifully emotional. I liked your use of that definition of Imago, I've only read a couple of others that did. Nice work.

Zan Marie said...

Such an intesely emotional journey! You did very well. I'm following you now. : )

Peggy Eddleman said...

FABULOUS! All those constraints, and it still turned out beautiful! Color me impressed. And depressed. Geez, thanks a lot! No, really. It was way more beautiful than depressing.

Sally said...

*applauds* Beautifully done, and with so many specifics included!
Depressing? Yes, very xD But lovely. And fantastic imagery!

Have I told you how much I love your writing? Because I freaking love your writing :D

Lydia Kang said...

Great use of your challenge words! Don't know if I could have done this...
Going to vote now. :)

Bryce Daniels said...

Wow, Carrie. Stunning!

That first sentence was incredible! Talk about painting a picture.

GREAT JOB!

Carrie Butler said...

@Medeia - Thank you very much! :D

@Jennifer - Thanks! :)

@Ann - Thank you, Ann. I appreciate that. :)

@Cortney - Why thank you! That's so kind of you to say. I'm following you, too! :)

@Michael - Thank you so much! I'm really glad you got a chance to stop by. Welcome! :)

@Cheryl - Thank you very much! :D

@Zan Marie - Thank you! I'm following you, too! :)

@Pegasus - Thank you! I'll try to avoid depressing you in the future. (No promises.) *grins*

@Sally - Aww, Sally! I forgot that it'd been a while since you last saw my writing. Thank you so much! :)

@Lydia - Thank you! I really appreciate that. (And hah! Of course you could've, Ms. Represented Author! *Squeal*)

@Bryce - Thank you very much! It's nice to see you 'round these parts again. We've missed you! :)

Leah said...

Carrie! Look at us, taking flash fiction by the horns!

Seriously though, amazing job. The flow in this piece is such a perfect downward spiral. Gave me the shivers.

P.S.

Major kudos for using my favorite word so eloquently.

P.P.S.

Sorry about the wings.

Carrie Butler said...

@Leah - Heck yes! This Campaign is working us out of our comfort zones. :) Why thank you! I admit, you made wings sound pretty cool... *grins*

MC Rogerson said...

Beautifully written and full of emotion. I'm looking forward to reading future posts.

Carrie said...

Hauntingly beautiful! I loved it.

cleemckenzie said...

Brilliant. How come you gotta be so good at this? The bar is too high.

Doreen McGettigan said...

That was beautiful and so very sad...I really enjoy your writing style!

Tara Tyler said...

what a somber piece, i felt the sense of loss.
well done!

Angela Orlowski-Peart said...

Very emotional and well written. I love how you used all the required words in your story. I'm voting for you :-)

Myne Whitman said...

It's very well written, but a sad one though.

cleemckenzie said...

Every one of these entries is super. I may as well roll over and play dead. I'm already in a miasmic fit. Is misamic a word? I don't think so.

Joanna said...

Strong imagery and emotion. But so sad. beautifully written.

Carrie Butler said...

@MC - Thank you, and welcome! :)

@Carrie - I get so confused every time it tells me "Carrie" has commented. Hah! Thank you! :D

@CLeeMcKenzie - Why thank you! This is only my second flash fiction, so I'm afraid it's not exactly my forte, but thank you for the kind words! :)

@Doreen - Thank you so much! :)

@Tara - Thank you! :D

@Angela - Aww, thank you very much. I appreciate that! :)

@Myne - Thank you, Myne! :D

@CLeeMcKenzie - Aww, c'mon. You're a very talented woman. You have to give it a try. (Besides, you've already used miasmic--which is a word--twice in this comment. It's like you've already started! *grins*)

@Joanna - Thank you! :)

Jess said...

Hello, nice to meet you! I love your entry! It's very well written and very sad. Great job! I'm a new follower, by the way!

(I'm entry #113)

Carrie Butler said...

@Jess - Thank you, and welcome! :) I'm off to read yours now. :D

Sarah P. said...

You know you're an amazing writer when you can do so much with so few words. You've got it! This is the best challenge I've read. Love it, love it, love it!!!
Mine is 119.

Jessica Therrien said...

My favorite so far...great entry. I really loved it. Great job. I'll be voting for you :)

Carrie Butler said...

@Sarah - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the encouraging words. :D! I'm off to read yours now!

Carrie Butler said...

@Jessica - Thank you! I appreciate that. I'm reading yours right now, and I love it!

raelynbarclay said...

Excellent! I love the imagery and emotion. Seamless use of those tricky words!

Sher A. Hart said...

Well, it was as beautiful as it was sad. I loved it in spite of the great loss that jumped off the page and into my heart. No one will cry for mine, number 52. Since you mentioned it, I don't think you're following me yet. I'm still trying to reach 100 and have a chocolate contest for followers. http://sherahart.blogspot.com

Cherie Colyer said...

Great entry! I love the approach you took.

Francesca Zappia said...

Great job! I think my favorite part was "lacuna in my closet." Awesome imagery.

Carrie Butler said...

@Raelyn - Thank you so much! :)

@Sher - Thank you, Sher! I really appreciate the kind words. I'm following you now. I had a feeling Blogger was letting me down somewhere. *grins* Thanks for letting me know!

Carrie Butler said...

@Cherie - Why thank you! :D

@Francesca - Your name is so fun to say! I love it! Thanks for commenting. :)

Tyrean Martinson said...

Wow! Beautiful!

Carrie Butler said...

@Tyrean - Thank you! :)

Barbara V. Evers said...

Absolutely perfect. You found an aesthetic that fit the words well. I'm voting for you! I'm #146, btw.

Maria said...

Good imagery, although a sad piece.

neelthemuse said...

Works well! Good read....

Carrie Butler said...

@Barbara - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the votes! :D

@Maria - Thank you! :)

@neelthemuse - Thanks so much! :D

Carla said...

How sad, and yet beautiful at the same time! Nice job with the emotions!

AveryMarsh said...

Just echoing the sentiments of previous posters. It's an amazingly evocative, beautifully written piece.

Carrie Butler said...

@Carla - Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. :D

@Avery - Why thank you! I appreciate that. :)

Mina Burrows said...

Wow! This was intense and I loved it. Great job.

the wild magnolia said...

Excellent presentation and story.

kmckendry said...

I loved it! Very moving and great use of the words.

I'm down at #183.

KSCollier said...

Very emotional, and good use of the words. Fun learning the new words, huh? You have a great voice.

Carrie Butler said...

@Mina - Thanks, Mina! :)

@Magnolia - Thank you! :D

@KMcKendry - Thank you! I'll be over to read yours soon!

@KSCollier - Thank you! You know, it was pretty fun. It's always nice to learn something new. :)

Karen deBlieck said...

Loved the short story--full of rich imagery!

I'm 189 if you'd like to take a look. :)

Carrie Butler said...

@Karen - Thank you so much! I'll be right over. :)

Jessica Therrien said...

Blog awards for you!!! http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-love.html

Jocelyn Rish said...

Very vivid imagery that really pluck at the emotions.

Carrie Butler said...

@Jessica - Thank you very much! :)

@Jocelyn - Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Holly Vance said...

I love it. So sorrowful and you used those words so organically.

Carrie Butler said...

@Holly - Thank you! I appreciate that! :)

jessicaaspen.com said...

Wonderful, really touching. Very different from any of the other posts I've read!

jessica aspen #174

Carrie Butler said...

@Jessica - Thank you so much! :)