Holy unexpected turn of events, Batman! It looks like I'm in on The Writer's Voice festivities, after all. :D
Thank you to Cupid of Cupid’s Literary Connection, Brenda Drake of Brenda Drake Writes, Monica B.W. of Love YA, and Krista Van Dolzer of Mother. Write. (Repeat.) for hosting this contest. :)
Title: STRENGTH
Genre: Paranormal romance
Word Count: 93,000
QUERY:
I plastered myself flat against the wall, straining
to distinguish footsteps from heart palpitations. He was close now; he had to
be. My shoes gave a little squeak as rubber met linoleum, and I inched toward
the corner. Come on...
For the millionth time since I’d gotten to the
seventh floor, I had to wonder if coming up here was worth it. I mean, I hadn’t
even been back on campus for twenty-four hours, and here I was—caught in a game
of hide-and-seek with the madman. What did that say about my sanity?
I threw a quick glance over my shoulder.
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t the best time to consider
it. Whether I liked it or not, I was halfway to his suite and I needed to stay
under the radar. “All right, Madman,” I muttered, peering around the edge.
“Ready or not…”
It took two quick scans of the hallway for me to
finally drop my shoulders and let out the breath I’d been holding. Thank God. Brave face or not, I would’ve
shit my Vicki-Secrets had he actually been standing there. The guy gave me the
creeps, and we’d never even met.
It wasn’t like I needed to see him to know his type.
He was probably some scrawny little recluse in pedo-glasses, lurking around
the dorm in one of those throwback tees from the ‘80s. A perfect match to his
reputation.
See, word got around last semester that muffled
screams and thuds were coming from this guy Wallace’s room every night.
Ah, soooooo goooood! They have to pick you! Congratz on getting in I NEED this title :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, Victoria! :D (I've never posted either before, so I'm sweating bullets over here! LOL)
DeleteStill loving this entry! Oh and watch my MAYbe post tomorrow. I give you a shout out, my sista :D
DeleteThanks, Victoria! I will so be there. :D
DeleteI can't see how you'd fail to do well after a strong first 250 like that! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kyra! I appreciate that. :)
DeleteTense opening! Nicely done! :) All the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Xan! :)
DeleteGripping opener and action-packed query! Best of luck with the contest :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, A.K.! :)
DeleteLoved the voice in this - good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kat! :)
DeleteCarrie, your writing is quite strong and full of tension. Well done, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeff! I hope this version is a bit more fluid than some of the previous ones I've shown you. :)
DeleteLOVE the query. LOVE it. You know you hit the bulls-eye when the reader needs to hear more. Have fun with this one!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Valerie! You have no idea what that means to me. :D
DeleteVery interesting premise! I wonder how the not-being-able-to-control-his-powers applies to their relationship if it were to get physical. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amalia! Wallace's inability to control his strength is very frustrating for both of them. ;)
DeleteI'm not into YA fantasy, but this one sounded interesting! Probably because it sounds like a hot romance! Good luck in the competition!
ReplyDeleteAnne #102
See? Look how many exclamations points you made me put in (above comment)! And no way to edit!
ReplyDeleteAnne again #102
Hah! Well, I love all the exclamation points. :D Thank you so much!
DeleteThis sounds great! Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jani! :)
DeleteThis sounds tense, original, and HOT! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteAndrea #32
Thank you very much, Andrea! :)
DeleteOOOH! This is one of my favorite entries! My hair stood up all prickly all over just from reading the query! Can't wait to see STRENGTH in print!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jessa! That made my day. :D
DeleteGlad you were able to make it. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I lucked out just getting to compete. :)
DeleteHi Carrie,
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of New Adult genre - all of us supposed grown-ups that got slammed for reading Twilight et al would not feel quite so hounded. Keep up the good work.
I reckon you have to be a little bit in love with your heroes to do them full justice and I definitely get the sense of that from you. This is my kinda book.
Unfortunately that would make me very sad, 'cos Archer's just about to turn 17, but in my defence, I met him in an earlier book when he was late 20's and hot to trot.
Good Luck Babe
Jacky (#130)
xxx
Hey, Jacky! You have no idea how happy that makes me. (Have you checked out NA Alley yet? It's full of NA goodness.)
DeleteI completely agree. Falling in love with your hero translates to the page and makes all the difference. Hah! I think you're safe there. No cougaring going on. *Grins*
Thank you! Good luck to you, too. :D
It sounds awesome, Carrie! And it's NA! Good luck, sista!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Juliana! I hope to make my NA sisters proud. :D
DeleteGood luck, love a great romance! -April, #61
ReplyDeleteThank you, April! :)
DeleteThey are sure to fall in love with your story & characters as much I did! They'd be crazy not to. Good luck, Carrie, no one deserves this more than you!!
ReplyDeleteAww, I sure hope so! Thank you so much, Nancy. I really appreciate it! *Hugs*
DeleteLove you MC already. Playing hide and seek with a rumored madman? I want to know her. Great job, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, SueJay! I hope you get a chance to "meet" her someday. :D
DeleteI read your query and first 250. Wow was that intense. Good luck in the contest.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tracey! You too. :D
DeleteThis sounds like something I'd read.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. :)
Yay! :) Thank you, Mia!
DeleteGood luck with this, Carrie. Totally intense! (*Hides from Wallace, peeks around hallway again...*)
ReplyDeleteThankfully, in a couple pages, you won't want to hide from him. *Grins* Thank you!
DeleteNice!
ReplyDeleteNice!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteOoh, love the premise! And I love that this is New Adult. I've recently been discussing--okay, you can call it complaining--the lack of NA in bookstores with some of my writing friends, so it's refreshing to see a great NA entry in this contest! Plus, I love the tension in your opening 250, and Rena's voice is fun and makes me want to read more :-) Best of luck with this!
ReplyDeleteAshley #78
Thank you, Ashley! You should come hang out with us at NA Alley sometime. Plenty of NA love going on there. :)
DeleteWell you already know that I'd camp out overnight in front of a bookstore wearing my I Heart Wallace tee-shirt just so you could sign my copy of Strength--that's how much I love your book. I hope others see the same genius that I do! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Lisa! Without you, I wouldn't even be ready for contests or querying. :)
Delete...Now I want an 'I Heart Wallace" shirt! LOL
Good luck! You deserve it with writing like that.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Talli! I appreciate that. :D
DeleteYour voice really shines through in that first page - I love "Vicki-Secrets" and "Pedo-glasses." Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad. :) Thank you, Laurie!
DeleteAwesome MC name. ;-) This sounds like an awesome entry. Best of luck! tasha #119
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tasha! :) You too!
DeleteGood luck!!! This is SO good.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kelley! :D
DeleteMuffled screams and thuds... I want to know what's going on too. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad! *Grins* Thank you, Suzi!
DeleteHi Carrie! I'm visiting all the entrants, making sure they added their URL correctly, and following their blogs, but I already know you. Congrats on making it onto the list! I've never seen a linky list fill up so fast in all my years of blogging.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Matthew! You too. :) Oh, I know what you mean. I'm surprised we didn't break the Internet!
DeleteSounds awesome! I have an image in my head of a college age Hulk, lol.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in the contest!
Summer - #40
Hah! Change that "Hulk" to "hunk," and have a look at this guy. *Grins* Thank you, Summer!
DeleteVery exciting! I liked the query too. Nice and hooky!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lydia! :D
DeleteLove the whole madman concept, which was something I wasn't expecting. And I like the slight snarkiness to the query, too, which the MC seems to have a lot of! Good luck! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rin! :)
DeleteOh yeah. Rena has plenty of it. *Grins* You too!
This is really good, is he sane or not, and if not what makes him change?
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Carrie (btw you don't need it too much, you got this down!)
Thank you, C.G.! I appreciate the kind words. :D
DeleteI remember yours! I really, really liked it when I read it yesterday--both the query and the 250 are super intriguing and well-written! Plus, I like how your main character thinks. :)
ReplyDeleteAww... thanks, Brenda! That makes me so happy. :D
DeleteVery nice Carrie, the query and the first page. One point I didn't get in the query, 5 line from the end .."if he can't protect her from himself ..". The Dynary abuse their power to create revolution, so why Wallace's power will turn to harm just one person like Rena? Good luck in winning the contest.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that, Giora. I should've been more clear. Wallace can't protect Rena from himself, because he can't control his strength. (When he touches her, he leaves bruises.)
DeleteThere is only a small group of Dynari--not including Wallace--who purposefully abuse their power. :) I hope this helps!
Thank you! :)
Now I get it, and mayeb you should put it in the query so the conflict of Wallace and Rena falling in love is clearer. They want to get closer, touch each other and make love but Wallace's power stands in their way. Is touching the man you love stronger than getting bruises? For people who love romance, the answer is Yes.
DeleteDuly noted. I'll have to look into it. Thanks, Giora! :)
DeleteRomance isn't usually my genre, but I think the setup you've got here sounds great! And I love a spunky heroine. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks, Becca! :)
DeleteOh Carrie!! Have I told you how great you are? This is a very interesting premise, and I want to see how everything plays out. Rena sounds like someone I'd want to kick in the head for not knowing curiosity killed the cat, but at the same time I can't help agreeing with her questionable courses of action (because we're all a little stupid that way, which is only natural xD).
ReplyDeleteI really want to see more of these characters and how they interact!
PS. Extra points for using the word 'pedo-glasses'. Just, win XD
Aww... thanks, Sally! :)
Delete*Grins* Don't worry. Rena isn't an extra from a horror movie. She has a reason for braving Wallace's "territory".
Hah! Why thank you. Man, I cannot wait until you read this book! :D
That makes two of us!;)
DeleteNiiiiiiice! Girl, I respect your writing skills so much. You've got it. And you've got a fabulous voice. You're one to watch out for---you're going places ;)
ReplyDeleteGah! Morgan, you made me blush! How is that even possible? LOL Thank you! :D
DeleteOh, I really like this. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nicole! :)
Deletewar, hot romance, superhuman powers...so loving this!!! best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :D
DeleteI totally love this!! Rena's voice is AWESOME and I can get a sense from the query the chemistry between her and Wallace is going to be really good! :) Can't wait to read more!! Good Luck!
ReplyDelete~TL Sumner #132
Thank you, TL! I hope you get a chance to read it someday! :D
DeleteHmm... There's a lot of supernatural romance going around these days, but this is off to a great start - I like that Rena is genuinely scared of the guy but still determined to find out what's happening. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. Genre saturation goes in cycles. :) Thank you so much!
DeleteCarrie,
ReplyDeleteHow fun! Best of luck!
Thanks, Dawn! You too. :)
DeleteAwesome beginning! She sounds like a pretty determined gal! (Thanks for your comment on my post too ;-). I think my fave line of yours was the "vickie-secrets" one, haha! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Darci! Determined is the perfect way to describe her. :D So glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteIntriguing intro! Well done and good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nicole! :D
DeleteI assume this is adult since it's not listed. If you mean it for YA, I'd say it reads more like new adult. Either way, it's a fantastic and worthy first 250, so stick with it. Love the MC's voice. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment on #142, THE PACKING HOUSE.
You would be correct in that assumption, sir. :) I query as adult, since 'new adult' isn't a traditionally recognized category yet. (We're working on that over at NA Alley.) Thank you so much! :)
DeleteWow! I'm seriously intimidated... Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. :) Thank you!
DeleteDude!! I would SO read yours ;o) What a cool premise and your writing is stellar!! Good luck ;o)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Erica! I appreciate that. :D
Deletegreat query and fabulous first page! wow!! good luck! ferris
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ferris! :)
DeleteSounds like a whole lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :D
DeleteThanks so much for sharing your comment on my query, Carrie!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite part of your entry is the first line: "I plastered myself flat against the wall, straining to distinguish footsteps from heart palpitations." Very exciting, and the writing that follows is extremely engaging, with an awesome pace.
Keep up the good work and good luck!!
John Krissilas
#196
No problem! It was a great query. :) Thank you! I appreciate the kind words.
DeleteI love "love" in any setting! Story is off to an interesting start :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteLeslie
#116
Thank you, Leslie! You too. :)
DeleteMy comment's a bit late, but I love the query. It all seemed entirely realistic until the fantasy aspect entered. That twist could be what gets it published in the end, not that it doesn't seem high quality in general, but the concept is really cool.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Patrick! I really appreciate that. :)
Delete