Monday, March 05, 2012

Second Campaign Challenge!

There were plenty of prompts for the Second Campaign Challenge. This is what I chose to focus on:
Prompt 1:
Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge.
Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

Instructions:
Do one or more of the following:
  1. Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts. It has to be less than 100 words. (Mine was 28.)
  2. Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts
    (I did 199.)
  3. Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words)
  4. Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts
  5. Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.
For added difficulty/challenge:
  • Complete at least three of the above activities and tie them all together with a common theme (feel free to either state the theme in your post or leave us to guess what it might be)
  • Write in a genre that is not your own
  • Ask Challenge entrants to critique your writing.   
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“Derrick,” I rasp, the word ripping barbs from my lungs as I pant the bitter nighttime air. “I-I can't do this...” My head falls back against what’s left of the thick, rusted support, and tears sting my eyes.

Image by tetratoon
The knit of his brow speaks volumes as he runs a hand through his hair, making the wet, darkened tufts stand on end. “I know it’s hard, but I need you to hold on.” He pauses, glances back at the water, and adds in a softer voice, “Just a little bit longer.”

“The others—” I begin, but cut off as another jolt of cold, nerve-shorting pain shoots up my leg. I squeeze my eyes shut and press against the rough, unmoving concrete with blood-soaked hands. Like time itself since the bridge collapsed, it doesn’t move.

“Don’t worry about them right now,” he says in a strained voice, brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I’m going to get help.”

A cold wind whips past, bringing with it the river’s trademark stench. I listen to the silence around us, imagining bodies and debris littering the water. “…T-They didn’t make it, did they?”

“No.” He lets out a deep, shuddering breath. “They didn’t.”
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Pitch: "When the bridge collapsed at midnight, there were two survivors—if they don’t make it out of the city by dawn, they’ll wish they’d died with the others."
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My goodness. What’s with my campaign entries lately? They're not the feel-good stories of the year, I'll tell ya that much. *grins*

Anyhoo, if you’d like to vote for and/or check out the other (probably happier) entries, click here. :) Oh, oh! And come back in a few hours for a post about Rachel Morgan’s GUARDIAN and an interview with Jessica Therrien. It’s going to be a fun Monday!

90 comments:

Morgan said...

Duuuude... girl, I love your tension. You definitely know how to create a "moment" ... Love your writing and "liked" of course ;)

bridget said...

I agre, you definitly created an intense scene. I'm so impressed by those of you who have done this so quickly.

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Morgan! I appreciate that. :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Bridget! I can't speak for anyone else, but I have to do it quickly. Otherwise, I'd still be revising it six months later. It's like ripping off a band-aid. *grins*

Talli Roland said...

Wow, another great one. Well done!

Siv Maria said...

Very well written and a challenge well done. I enjoyed this and wouldn't mind reading more.

Lady Gwen said...

Wow, Carrie. Such tension in so few words. You did a great job!

Elise Fallson said...

Great entry and love the pitch!

meradeth said...

Awesome! Nice and tense! Love the pitch, too, I want to read it!

Claire Hennessy said...

Really good job - and even better that you understood what this challenge was all about and got to it so quickly. I'm in awe :)

T.D. McFrost said...

Damn Carrie! Show off, much? This is the second time today I've felt like crawling into a hole by amazing talent. No fair!

That piece was amazing!

Melissa said...

Excellent as always. Loved it. = ) [Makes mine look like dog meat...worse. = ( ] You get a vote from me for sure. ; )

Tara Tyler said...

great pitch and intense scene! way to go!

Jennifer Fischetto said...

Great job. I love how this wasn't your genre and yet it had such great tension and emotion. :)

Kevin Hiatt said...

I like the way the tension begins with a bang and continues to build. How is this NOT your genre though? You write this non-genre better than I write my genre. :/

YelenaC said...

Nice dark imagery, creepy. Nicely written!

Nancy Thompson said...

Ha! I did the same two challenges, the story and the pitch. But ugh, I had a hard time writing outside my genre. I know nothing about fantasy which is what I chose. Your entry is fantastic. I should've used some dialogue again this time. *jealous* Great job, Carrie!!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Talli! :D

Ashley Nixon said...

lol! You're right, not the feel good story of the year, but I'm sure things will end well! :) Great job! And writing two challenges is such a feat!

Esther Spurrill-Jones said...

I really liked the immediacy of this piece. Good job.

Gwen said...

Oh, mine aren't feel good stories either, don't worry about it. In fact, a lot of people thought my last one was creepy. Yours is just intense, and very real thanks to all your details.

#38

Daniel Noyes said...

Hi Carrie, well done! I enjoyed this.

Sarah Pearson said...

I liked the flash - but then the pitch really made me shiver!

C.M.Brown said...

A very moving story, full of sadness! Very well done!

sue said...

Hey - great pitch! I tried a pitch also
#48

Nick Wilford said...

Both were great. Very intense and very visual. I would read more for sure!

KSCollier said...

I have a vivid picture. I agree with the others, very intense. Good work!

Tasha Seegmiller said...

I like the little bit darker not all sunshine and lollipops stories. Darker is better :)

Well done!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you very much, Siv! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Gwen! :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Elise! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Meradeth! Pitches aren't my strong suit, so it was a challenge. (Fitting, yes?) :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Claire! Unfortunately, I didn't understand it as well as I thought I did. Melissa informed me that we were to use all of the prompts. (Oops!) Oh well. I had fun! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Hardly. But thanks, nonetheless! :)

Oh, and if you're going to crawl into a hole, you should take your computer with you. (So you can pwn some Asmos!) *grins*

Carrie Butler said...

Why thank you! :) Tch, dog meat? I think not!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Tara! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Jennifer! It was definitely an interesting challenge. :)

Carrie Butler said...

Somehow I doubt that, Kevin, but thank you. ;) I'd never attempted this genre before. It was pretty fun!

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Yelena! :)

Carrie Butler said...

I had a hard time writing outside my genre, too, but it was fun! Oh, pfft. You didn't even need dialogue, Nancy! Your entry was amazing!

Thank you! :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Ashley! Hah! You're probably right. Even though I wrote outside of my genre, I'm still a romance writer and I believe in HEAs! ;)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Esther! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Gwen! At least I'm in good company. Creepy writers unite! ;)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Daniel! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Sarah! Pitches are difficult for me, so I was thankful for the excuse to practice. :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, C.M.! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Sue! I'll have to check yours out. :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Nick! I appreciate that. :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you very much, KSCollier! :)

Carrie Butler said...

There's definitely an allure to dark writing. I should mix it up more often! :) Thank you, Tasha!

Julia King said...

Nice job. I sort of wish I was there in some sick way because you pulled me right in. Love the pitch too!

Randy said...

Excellent post. I especially loved the pitch. Wish I had read that before the rest of it.

Carrie Butler said...

Aww, thanks, Julia! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Randy! :) You know, you're right. I probably should've put the pitch first. D'oh!

Honey said...

That was a really great pitch! Good job on the challenge:)

Laurie Dennison said...

I loved the pitch, too! Great job!

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Honey! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Laurie! :)

Melodie said...

Wow - busy Monday for you! Hey to Jessica!
Hey to Rachel!
Hey to devastated people still stuck under the bridge! (You aren't just going to leave them there, are you?) ;)

Carrie Butler said...

Yes, a very busy Monday!

Of course not! I would never dream of leaving them under the bridge. They're just, um, resting now... *grins*

Sher A. Hart said...

This is a great story intro and pitch. Present tense always feels so immediate to me. You have excellent writing skills even if you went for less happy than your usual. So did I, but I think we can blame it on the prompts and the extra challenge of not writing in our own genres. I'm Number 57.

Traci Kenworth said...

Scarly-good. Hope that makes sense.

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Sher! It's nice to know I wasn't the only one pulled in a darker direction by this challenge. ;) I'll be over to read yours soon!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Traci! :D

RaeAnn said...

That's awesome! As usual. Hope you like mine(#77)...

Jessica Salyer said...

I love this. Great job.

Mina Burrows said...

Go Carrie! You always do a wonderful job. :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, RaeAnn! I'll be over soon. :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Jessica! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you so much, Mina! :)

MISH said...

I loved the way you sustained the tension throughout your piece. The mood is intense and I love the immediacy and "in-the-moment" feeling... great writing!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Mish! I appreciate that! :D

C.B. Wentworth said...

Wow! The descriptions you use are incredible - I feel like I am right there next to these characters! Great job! :-)

Carrie Butler said...

What a compliment! Thanks, C.B.! I appreciate it. :)

Leslie Rose said...

Wow! Way to pop us into a heart pounding moment. Loved it.

The Capillary said...

I really felt the hopelessness there. Great read!

#46

Lori M. Lee said...

Hi! Wanted to let you know that your entry has been shortlisted to move onto Stage Two. Congrats!

kelworthfiles said...

Yes, that's a very grim flash, but I enjoyed reading it, thanks!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Leslie! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Capillary! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Oh, wow. Thank you, Lori! I really appreciate that! :D

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Kelworthfiles! :)

Jennifer said...

Brava, Carrie! I sense another win on the horizon. :-) The pitch is pitch perfect, really (no pun intended). You get right to the point with it and I enjoyed the scene with the two of them it ends right at the right point to pique the readers curiosity as we feel the darkness and dank of the situation.

Sometimes, often, good writing isn't happy-feel-good! So be it! Enjoyed it and you got my vote, again.

Take care!
Jenn
www.jennifernbaker.com/blog

Carrie Butler said...

Aww, thank you so much, Jennifer! That's really kind of you. :) You too!

Tia Bach said...

I love the details you fit into such a few words, not to mention having me an edge. Great pitch, too. Short and sweet. Off to vote!

I'm #106.

Treelight said...

That pitch is great! I would like to read that book :)

(I'm #82.)

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Tia! I appreciate that. :)

Carrie Butler said...

Thanks, Treelight! I'll be over to read yours in a minute. :D

Lisa L. Regan said...

Wow, as always that was amazing. Very gripping. I love how you can do that in just a couple of paragraphs!

Carrie Butler said...

Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate that, and I hope all is well. :)