Holy unexpected turn of events, Batman! It looks like I'm in on The Writer's Voice festivities, after all. :D
Thank you to Cupid of Cupid’s Literary Connection, Brenda Drake of Brenda Drake Writes, Monica B.W. of Love YA, and Krista Van Dolzer of Mother. Write. (Repeat.) for hosting this contest. :)
Title: STRENGTH
Genre: Paranormal romance
Word Count: 93,000
QUERY:
I plastered myself flat against the wall, straining
to distinguish footsteps from heart palpitations. He was close now; he had to
be. My shoes gave a little squeak as rubber met linoleum, and I inched toward
the corner. Come on...
For the millionth time since I’d gotten to the
seventh floor, I had to wonder if coming up here was worth it. I mean, I hadn’t
even been back on campus for twenty-four hours, and here I was—caught in a game
of hide-and-seek with the madman. What did that say about my sanity?
I threw a quick glance over my shoulder.
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t the best time to consider
it. Whether I liked it or not, I was halfway to his suite and I needed to stay
under the radar. “All right, Madman,” I muttered, peering around the edge.
“Ready or not…”
It took two quick scans of the hallway for me to
finally drop my shoulders and let out the breath I’d been holding. Thank God. Brave face or not, I would’ve
shit my Vicki-Secrets had he actually been standing there. The guy gave me the
creeps, and we’d never even met.
It wasn’t like I needed to see him to know his type.
He was probably some scrawny little recluse in pedo-glasses, lurking around
the dorm in one of those throwback tees from the ‘80s. A perfect match to his
reputation.
See, word got around last semester that muffled
screams and thuds were coming from this guy Wallace’s room every night.
113 comments:
Ah, soooooo goooood! They have to pick you! Congratz on getting in I NEED this title :D
Thank you, Victoria! :D (I've never posted either before, so I'm sweating bullets over here! LOL)
I can't see how you'd fail to do well after a strong first 250 like that! Good luck!
Thanks, Kyra! I appreciate that. :)
Tense opening! Nicely done! :) All the best!
Gripping opener and action-packed query! Best of luck with the contest :)
Loved the voice in this - good luck!
Carrie, your writing is quite strong and full of tension. Well done, and good luck!
LOVE the query. LOVE it. You know you hit the bulls-eye when the reader needs to hear more. Have fun with this one!
Very interesting premise! I wonder how the not-being-able-to-control-his-powers applies to their relationship if it were to get physical. Good luck!
I'm not into YA fantasy, but this one sounded interesting! Probably because it sounds like a hot romance! Good luck in the competition!
Anne #102
See? Look how many exclamations points you made me put in (above comment)! And no way to edit!
Anne again #102
This sounds great! Good luck :)
This sounds tense, original, and HOT! Good luck to you!
Andrea #32
OOOH! This is one of my favorite entries! My hair stood up all prickly all over just from reading the query! Can't wait to see STRENGTH in print!
Thank you, Xan! :)
Thank you so much, A.K.! :)
Thanks, Kat! :)
Thank you, Jeff! I hope this version is a bit more fluid than some of the previous ones I've shown you. :)
Glad you were able to make it. Best of luck.
Thanks, Valerie! You have no idea what that means to me. :D
Thanks, Amalia! Wallace's inability to control his strength is very frustrating for both of them. ;)
Hah! Well, I love all the exclamation points. :D Thank you so much!
Thank you, Jani! :)
Hi Carrie,
I love the idea of New Adult genre - all of us supposed grown-ups that got slammed for reading Twilight et al would not feel quite so hounded. Keep up the good work.
I reckon you have to be a little bit in love with your heroes to do them full justice and I definitely get the sense of that from you. This is my kinda book.
Unfortunately that would make me very sad, 'cos Archer's just about to turn 17, but in my defence, I met him in an earlier book when he was late 20's and hot to trot.
Good Luck Babe
Jacky (#130)
xxx
Thank you very much, Andrea! :)
Thank you so much, Jessa! That made my day. :D
It sounds awesome, Carrie! And it's NA! Good luck, sista!
Good luck, love a great romance! -April, #61
They are sure to fall in love with your story & characters as much I did! They'd be crazy not to. Good luck, Carrie, no one deserves this more than you!!
Love you MC already. Playing hide and seek with a rumored madman? I want to know her. Great job, and good luck!
I read your query and first 250. Wow was that intense. Good luck in the contest.
This sounds like something I'd read.
Good luck. :)
Thanks! I lucked out just getting to compete. :)
Hey, Jacky! You have no idea how happy that makes me. (Have you checked out NA Alley yet? It's full of NA goodness.)
I completely agree. Falling in love with your hero translates to the page and makes all the difference. Hah! I think you're safe there. No cougaring going on. *Grins*
Thank you! Good luck to you, too. :D
Thanks, Juliana! I hope to make my NA sisters proud. :D
Thank you, April! :)
Aww, I sure hope so! Thank you so much, Nancy. I really appreciate it! *Hugs*
Thanks, SueJay! I hope you get a chance to "meet" her someday. :D
Thank you, Tracey! You too. :D
Yay! :) Thank you, Mia!
Good luck with this, Carrie. Totally intense! (*Hides from Wallace, peeks around hallway again...*)
Thankfully, in a couple pages, you won't want to hide from him. *Grins* Thank you!
Thank you! :)
Ooh, love the premise! And I love that this is New Adult. I've recently been discussing--okay, you can call it complaining--the lack of NA in bookstores with some of my writing friends, so it's refreshing to see a great NA entry in this contest! Plus, I love the tension in your opening 250, and Rena's voice is fun and makes me want to read more :-) Best of luck with this!
Ashley #78
Well you already know that I'd camp out overnight in front of a bookstore wearing my I Heart Wallace tee-shirt just so you could sign my copy of Strength--that's how much I love your book. I hope others see the same genius that I do! Good luck!
Good luck! You deserve it with writing like that.
Your voice really shines through in that first page - I love "Vicki-Secrets" and "Pedo-glasses." Great job!
Awesome MC name. ;-) This sounds like an awesome entry. Best of luck! tasha #119
Good luck!!! This is SO good.
Muffled screams and thuds... I want to know what's going on too. Good luck.
Hi Carrie! I'm visiting all the entrants, making sure they added their URL correctly, and following their blogs, but I already know you. Congrats on making it onto the list! I've never seen a linky list fill up so fast in all my years of blogging.
Sounds awesome! I have an image in my head of a college age Hulk, lol.
Good luck in the contest!
Summer - #40
Very exciting! I liked the query too. Nice and hooky!
Thank you, Ashley! You should come hang out with us at NA Alley sometime. Plenty of NA love going on there. :)
Thank you so much, Lisa! Without you, I wouldn't even be ready for contests or querying. :)
...Now I want an 'I Heart Wallace" shirt! LOL
Thank you, Talli! I appreciate that. :D
I'm so glad. :) Thank you, Laurie!
Thanks, Tasha! :) You too!
Thank you, Kelley! :D
I'm glad! *Grins* Thank you, Suzi!
Thanks, Matthew! You too. :) Oh, I know what you mean. I'm surprised we didn't break the Internet!
Thank you, Lydia! :D
Hah! Change that "Hulk" to "hunk," and have a look at this guy. *Grins* Thank you, Summer!
Love the whole madman concept, which was something I wasn't expecting. And I like the slight snarkiness to the query, too, which the MC seems to have a lot of! Good luck! :)
This is really good, is he sane or not, and if not what makes him change?
Good luck, Carrie (btw you don't need it too much, you got this down!)
I remember yours! I really, really liked it when I read it yesterday--both the query and the 250 are super intriguing and well-written! Plus, I like how your main character thinks. :)
Very nice Carrie, the query and the first page. One point I didn't get in the query, 5 line from the end .."if he can't protect her from himself ..". The Dynary abuse their power to create revolution, so why Wallace's power will turn to harm just one person like Rena? Good luck in winning the contest.
Thank you, Rin! :)
Oh yeah. Rena has plenty of it. *Grins* You too!
Thank you, C.G.! I appreciate the kind words. :D
Aww... thanks, Brenda! That makes me so happy. :D
Sorry about that, Giora. I should've been more clear. Wallace can't protect Rena from himself, because he can't control his strength. (When he touches her, he leaves bruises.)
There is only a small group of Dynari--not including Wallace--who purposefully abuse their power. :) I hope this helps!
Thank you! :)
Romance isn't usually my genre, but I think the setup you've got here sounds great! And I love a spunky heroine. Good luck!
Oh Carrie!! Have I told you how great you are? This is a very interesting premise, and I want to see how everything plays out. Rena sounds like someone I'd want to kick in the head for not knowing curiosity killed the cat, but at the same time I can't help agreeing with her questionable courses of action (because we're all a little stupid that way, which is only natural xD).
I really want to see more of these characters and how they interact!
PS. Extra points for using the word 'pedo-glasses'. Just, win XD
Niiiiiiice! Girl, I respect your writing skills so much. You've got it. And you've got a fabulous voice. You're one to watch out for---you're going places ;)
Wow! Thanks, Becca! :)
Aww... thanks, Sally! :)
*Grins* Don't worry. Rena isn't an extra from a horror movie. She has a reason for braving Wallace's "territory".
Hah! Why thank you. Man, I cannot wait until you read this book! :D
Gah! Morgan, you made me blush! How is that even possible? LOL Thank you! :D
Still loving this entry! Oh and watch my MAYbe post tomorrow. I give you a shout out, my sista :D
Thanks, Victoria! I will so be there. :D
Now I get it, and mayeb you should put it in the query so the conflict of Wallace and Rena falling in love is clearer. They want to get closer, touch each other and make love but Wallace's power stands in their way. Is touching the man you love stronger than getting bruises? For people who love romance, the answer is Yes.
Duly noted. I'll have to look into it. Thanks, Giora! :)
Oh, I really like this. Good luck!
war, hot romance, superhuman powers...so loving this!!! best of luck to you!
Thank you, Nicole! :)
Thank you so much! :D
I totally love this!! Rena's voice is AWESOME and I can get a sense from the query the chemistry between her and Wallace is going to be really good! :) Can't wait to read more!! Good Luck!
~TL Sumner #132
Hmm... There's a lot of supernatural romance going around these days, but this is off to a great start - I like that Rena is genuinely scared of the guy but still determined to find out what's happening. Good luck!
Ah, yes. Genre saturation goes in cycles. :) Thank you so much!
Thank you, TL! I hope you get a chance to read it someday! :D
Carrie,
How fun! Best of luck!
Thanks, Dawn! You too. :)
Awesome beginning! She sounds like a pretty determined gal! (Thanks for your comment on my post too ;-). I think my fave line of yours was the "vickie-secrets" one, haha! Awesome.
Intriguing intro! Well done and good luck to you!
I assume this is adult since it's not listed. If you mean it for YA, I'd say it reads more like new adult. Either way, it's a fantastic and worthy first 250, so stick with it. Love the MC's voice. Good Luck!
Thank you for the comment on #142, THE PACKING HOUSE.
Wow! I'm seriously intimidated... Best of luck to you!
Thank you, Darci! Determined is the perfect way to describe her. :D So glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you, Nicole! :D
You would be correct in that assumption, sir. :) I query as adult, since 'new adult' isn't a traditionally recognized category yet. (We're working on that over at NA Alley.) Thank you so much! :)
Oh, wow. :) Thank you!
Dude!! I would SO read yours ;o) What a cool premise and your writing is stellar!! Good luck ;o)
great query and fabulous first page! wow!! good luck! ferris
Sounds like a whole lot of fun!
Thanks, Erica! I appreciate that. :D
Thank you, Ferris! :)
Thank you! :D
Thanks so much for sharing your comment on my query, Carrie!
My favourite part of your entry is the first line: "I plastered myself flat against the wall, straining to distinguish footsteps from heart palpitations." Very exciting, and the writing that follows is extremely engaging, with an awesome pace.
Keep up the good work and good luck!!
John Krissilas
#196
No problem! It was a great query. :) Thank you! I appreciate the kind words.
I love "love" in any setting! Story is off to an interesting start :) Good luck!
Leslie
#116
Thank you, Leslie! You too. :)
That makes two of us!;)
My comment's a bit late, but I love the query. It all seemed entirely realistic until the fantasy aspect entered. That twist could be what gets it published in the end, not that it doesn't seem high quality in general, but the concept is really cool.
Thank you, Patrick! I really appreciate that. :)
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